My Semi-Sober Summer + Why Drinking is Really Getting Kinda Boring
I feel like I have talked about booze more times on this blog than nearly any other topic. I guess it makes sense, considering I’m The Champagne Diet and all, right? Anyway. If this is the first you’re hearing about my relationship with alcohol and how I’ve really examined it over the past year or so, then get caught up here. If you already know the backstory or you just want to dig in, then read on…
Also: this may not apply to you at all, and that’s fine. You can just skip this one and move on. But if you have ever felt like maybe you’ve been drinking a little too much wine, if you’ve ever felt sick of waking up groggy and hungover, or just wanted to explore your relationship with alcohol, then this post may really resonate.
Two weeks ago, I embarked on what I call a “semi-sober summer,” meaning I’m going to really be mindful of how much booze I am consuming. Not because I feel like I have a problem with alcohol. Not because I think I am an alcoholic. Just because I have become very self-aware, very focused on my overall wellness, and because honestly, I’ve been feeling kinda crappy.
I’ve never been a binge drinker. I don’t drink to black out. However, I do fall into periods where I am waiting with baited (pinot noir) breath for the clock to strike a decent hour so I can crack open that bottle. I also fall into periods where I feel like I “need” that glass – or 3 – of red wine to shut off from a busy, stressful day and fall asleep at night. And for a gal who loves to go out and dine, the thought of a meal without wine? Nightmarish.
Last year, I thought I finally broke those habits. I took a long break from the booze, only indulging maybe once or twice a month, and I never felt better. I lost weight (naturally), I had so much energy, my mood soared. My skin glowed and I slept like a baby. I felt present. In touch with my intuition. And as sharp as a fucking razor.
But once again, for whatever reason, I started drinking more and more often. Self-sabotage? Who knows. I’ve thought about that actually. Either way, I fell right back into my old routine. Wine every night. More on weekends. Apparently those old habits do die hard.
I found myself in a weird place last month. I felt bloated, irritable, and lethargic. My clothes started to feel tight again. I was skipping SoulCycle classes. I blamed it on the stress of the Girl Code relaunch. I blamed it on a million things. But in reality, I knew deep down that my beloved vino was overstaying her welcome and becoming a nightly (sometimes daily) guest.
So, here we are. I’ve had wine on occasion a few times so far this month, and I really have little to no desire for it. I am determined to shake that gross, tired feeling that comes along with that evening 1/2 bottle of wine we all “treat ourselves” to. I am determined to treat wine like a treat. The way its meant to be enjoyed. Not as a crutch to turn off, numb myself, and pass out.
I am determined to explore my relationship with wine again, with no judgements. Perhaps I’ll fall into that “normal” groove again where I enjoy some rose at brunch and then have no desire to touch it again until the next weekend. Perhaps I’ll take a few solid weeks off. But what I know for sure is that I am proud of myself for putting myself first.
And being that this is my 3rd rodeo taking a little wine-cation, I am noticing something: I think I like myself better when I’m not drinking. Whoa.
I’m going to follow this post up with some new nightly rituals I’ve developed that have really helped me de-stress, so stay tuned for that. Hint: catnip fucking tea. Yes, you read that right. More soon. It’s life-changing.
I also want to make something very clear. I am not on my high horse all of a sudden, and I would never want anyone to feel bad if they wanna go out and get tanked this weekend. Or have a few glasses of a beautiful wine. Do you girl. But if this inspires you in some way to take a good look at your relationship with alcohol, maybe examine why you drink, and fix whatever may be weird about it, then that makes me incredibly happy.
I deserve the best. You deserve the best. We all deserve more. So here’s to our health, our peace, and our happiness. I’m raising my Pellegrino (in a wine glass) to you. We’ve got this.