Getting REAL About My Weight
On May 7, 2018, I decided it was time to get real with myself.
As someone who has struggled with her weight for most of her entire life (I joined weight watchers at 11 years old) I know what it feels like to have a completely fucked up and dysfunctional relationship with food and with my body. After becoming a professional dieter, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I was done. Done beating myself up. Done starving. Done binging. Done putting the keys to my self-worth inside a pair of skinny jeans.
I spent years reprogramming my brain and finding ways to accept myself for who I am and what I look like, regardless of what the number on the scale said. I immersed myself in the body positivity movement and it saved my sanity. I finally learned to love myself – fully. I felt better, like I could breathe again. All that reprogramming helped me lose some of the weight that I didn’t want or need, and for a while, I felt pretty good.
But recently, the pounds have crept back on. I can pinpoint exactly what happened, too. I landed my first traditional book deal in January of 2017 and suddenly had huge deadlines hanging over my head. I was writing like it was my job – because now it was. I was now on a new level, with a new standard. The bar had been raised. And the stress got to me. I began over-eating and over-drinking. Too many nights of nachos and red wine and pizza and take-out to quell my nerves added up.
And now here we are.
Don’t get me wrong – I still love myself, and my body. But I’m uncomfortable in my own skin again. I’ve put on about 25 pounds. 25! Pounds! I dread getting dressed. I’m wearing the same thing every day because it hides the parts of me that I can’t bear to face. Isn’t it funny how we become master “hiders” when we aren’t where we want to be weight-wise?
I’m slower. Heavier. I may be my “best self” but I certainly do not have my best body. I always thought it was one or the other. But it’s not! I can be successful and have a hot bod. I get to decide to have it all. We all do.
And it’s beyond vanity or being comfortable. I had to come face-to-face with the fact that I am overweight. I may not “look it” but according to my BMI, I am overweight, skirting the borderline of obesity. And being overweight or obese puts you at risk for all kinds of diseases. Heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes – the list goes on. This is serious shit. And it’s time to get it under control.
Recently it hit me – you CAN be body positive. You CAN love your body. And STILL want it to be leaner, stronger, smaller, and healthier. You can love your body, and want to make it better.
I had made “weight loss” a dirty term because I thought wanting to lose weight meant you didn’t love yourself. And that’s completely untrue.
What a fucking revelation.
And we all know a good revelation leads to a revolution…
All the work I have done learning to love myself has taught me one thing – loving myself means being honest with myself. And if I’m being honest, I am tired of covering up my body. I’m tired of wearing the same 3/4 sleeve length top to SoulCycle and frantically washing it every single day to have it ready for the next class. I’m tired of fearing summertime. I’m tired of cringing at myself in pictures. I’m tired of investigating myself in the mirror, trying to see if I can find a way to suck in and find just the right angle that helps me feel less ashamed for not being as good as I could be to my body.
Honestly – it’s time to lose some weight. Proudly. Honestly. LOVINGLY. In a way that feels good to me. Not in a way that feels restrictive, or that’s rooted in self-loathing, or crazy strict rules. Hello? I created The Champagne Diet. I am all about indulging when I want to. I cannot live happily and freely with rules. And I’m all about being happy and free. I worked damn hard to get here, and I’m not giving that up – not even for flatter abs.
So I am recommitting to shed some extra weight that is no longer serving me. I don’t have a number goal because if I’ve learned one thing, it’s not about a number. It’s about a feeling. It’s about being in control and being confident in the way I’m treating myself and my body. The problem was, I was racking my brain to find some kind of support with this, because I knew I didn’t want to do it solo. I can do a lot of things alone – but losing weight just isn’t one of them. I crave the support of other like-minded soul sisters and some sort of nutritional guidelines to keep me in check. But where was I going to find that!? Lord knows I wasn’t going back to Weight Watchers and I wasn’t putting my food in containers every day or enrolling in some crazy meal plan with a rigorous workout schedule or timed nutrition. No thank you.
Funny enough, the day I decided enough was enough, I saw my friend Andrea Crowder posting about a new program she had been following. She was raving not only about her results, but the freedom she was finding from emotional eating. In all my years of crazy diets, I never – ever – found a plan focused on conquering emotional eating. I never found a plan that helped you actually understand what you were putting in your body and why, and empowered you to do whatever you want, as long as you kept yourself accountable. This is what Andrea was doing. And I was sold. Thank you, Universe.
Enter 2B Mindset. Ladies, I am obsessed with this program. It’s basically a series of digital videos that you watch, hosted by an RDN (Registered Dietician Nutritionist) who lost 100 pounds herself and has kept it all off using the 2B Mindset principles. And it is literally SO EASY. Honestly, I keep waiting for “the catch” and there isn’t one. It’s simply eating well, and arranging your plate in a way that makes the most sense for weight loss.
She explains why we need certain foods (protein, veggies, fiber-filled carbs), and when to eat them. She empowers you to create your own recipes, but also provides a TON of delicious ones. She educates you on how to fill your plate. This wasn’t rocket science for me, but at the same time, it felt like it. I cannot even explain the amount of “a-ha!” moments I have had already. She encourages you to eat to feel full. She lets you have wine! Her only suggestion? Track it all. Write it down. I’m using a pretty pink journal to track everything that goes in my mouth – because as a life coach, I know how important accountability is. I’ve even been taking it a step further and not just writing down my food, but making little notes about my mood and energy level, and let me tell you – I feel fucking fabulous.
So far, I’ve lost 5 pounds. It sounds like nothing, but for someone who has begged the scale to budge, it’s huge. The scale is literally going down daily. Clearly my body is releasing what it no longer needs, and craziest thing is I have never had results like this – not even when I was basically starving. And it’s not just happening to me – it’s happening to all the other babes who are on this plan.
I am also using one other major component to help me get rid of this extra weight: my mind. You guys know I am all about making sure I am an energetic match for the things I want. I have used my mindset to get every single thing I want in life: book deals, a dream apartment in Manhattan, massive levels of success in my business, amazing people around me, a lot of fucking money, a fab closet. So why haven’t I tapped into this superpower to get my dream body? Once this hit me, I was like – duh Cara. It is already yours.
I am so excited to continue to share this journey with all of you. I’ll be sharing updates like my favorite recipes, meal ideas, workouts, and more.
I cannot wait to lose weight and feel fucking fabulous with you!
With love and healthy vibes,